Okay here is how it works.  If you really want to profile your own
personality you can do it very accurately and quickly.  I have designed a
foolproof personality profiler that requires no professional help. In fact,
professional analysis is rendered useless in the face of this test.  I call
it the 7 Highly Effective Personality Traits Reflected by Dwarfs.

First you have to know the names of the Seven Dwarfs from Snow White. That's
the only hard part, so I will help you out.  Doc, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy,
Dopey, Bashful,  Grumpy.  Then you have to trust me.  I have made a very
scientific personality value assessment and I have assigned the dwarfs with
the following numerical values for each of the indicated personalities:

Doc - 7
Happy - 6
Bashful - 5
Sleepy - 4
Sneezy - 3
Dopey - 2
Grumpy - 1

Now you have to go to work.  What you do is interview people that are closely
associated with you and ask them one simple question.  "If I was one of the 7
dwarfs which one would you call me, Doc, Happy, etc."  To make it easy I
suggest that you ask 7 out of the following 10 possible associates.  Some
might not be available or applicable to you, that's why I picked 10.  You
absolutely need 7 responses or the results will not be scientific.  You ask
your spouse, (it has been found that former spouses are generally unable to
refrain from suggesting names for dwarfs that aren't even in the movie, so I
recommended that you use only current spouses for this survey - even they can
be brutally honest, but generally do have the ability to stick with the
actually names), one of your children, one of your parents,  a church leader,
a business associate, a close friend, the man who fixes your car, your
barber/hairdresser, your favourite bank teller (if that is a machine you
automatically get 4 for Sleepy), and one of your next door neighbours.

Then you tally your score.  If you score between 50 and 100 you have
misunderstood the whole process.  Start all over again, read the
instructions.  The highest possible score is 49.  If you score between 25 and
49 you have a pretty good personality.  If you score less than 25 you either
have a bad cold,  a bad personality or you are really dumb.   If you find
that you have 5 or more responses that named the same dwarf you come off
about the same with all the people around you. Depending on which dwarf you
are tagged as, things could be very good or very bad.  Make adjustments
accordingly.  If you have 5 or more different responses you have a multiple
personality disorder. Call a meeting with yourselves and address the problem.