Hear the SAME questions EVERY TIME you walk your BIG DOG?  
Here's help with the answers! 

Q: "How did he get soooo big?"
A: "We put Miracle Grow in his water."

Q: "Do you have a saddle for that thing?"
A: "Oh no, he's been trained to carry me in his mouth."

Q: "What kind of dog is that?"
A: "It's not really a dog, it's a cow. He's just a little confused."

Q: "How much does he eat?"
A: "Two kids a week."

Q: "Why is he so big?"
A: "We live near a nuclear power plant."

Q: "Does he bite?"
A: "Only on Tuesdays. Oops, that's today, isn't it?"

Q: "How much does your dog eat?"
A: "How much do you weigh?"

Q: "Can I ride him?"
A: "No, he charges too much."

Q: "What do you feed a 150-pound dog?"
A: "Anything he wants."

Q: "Have you fed that thing today?"
A: "Why? Are are you missing a kid?"