ABOUT MEN 

Men like to barbecue.  Men will cook if danger is involved.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Men like phones with lots of buttons.  It makes them feel
important.

Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning.
Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." 
These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General
Schwartzkopf.

Men are sensitive in strange ways.  If a man has built a fire
and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

Men have an easier time buying bathing suits.  Women have two
types:  depressing and more depressing.  Men have two types:
nerdy and not nerdy.

Men have higher body temperatures than women. Men are like
portable heaters that snore.

Most men hate to shop.  That's why the men's department is
usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches
from the door.

No man is charming all of the time.  Even Cary Grant is on
record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with
super heroes.  Women have bad self-images because they grow up
identifying with Barbie.

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
men need instant replays in sports.  They've already forgotten
what happened.