Actual Bumper Stickers! 

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. 

Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point. 

If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could
Drive A Little Better. 

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings". 

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. 

The Earth Is Full - Go Home 

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha 

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening
To Me 

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult 

If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away? 

The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My
Name 

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway 

Illiterate? Write For Help 

Honk If Anything Falls Off 

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From
The Next Exit 

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? 

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now 

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk
Somewhere 

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also
Timed For 70mph. 

Ax Me About Ebonics 

Boldly Going Nowhere 

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde! 

Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That 

Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal
Friends 

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car
Window 

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He
Admits He Is Lost? 

Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It! 

What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull