Anyway, sometimes you need a good laugh
and the Exchange List we sponsor was discussing what to do if one
of your end-users turns off their virus protection for whatever
reason. 

jsteenhagen@acutex.net suggested this remedy. Sounds like a very 
effective one to me [grin]

"As far as what you /should/ use... I'd go with subroutines... 
if virus_scan.disable then user.idiot = true 
.. 
if user.idiot then 
 break_fingers(user) 
 bash_in_head(user) 
end if 
private sub break_fingers(user as dumb_person) 
 tool.hammer.size = really_big 
 for finger = 1 to 10 
  use_hammer(user, finger) 
 next finger 
end sub 
private sub bash_in_head(user as dumb_person) 
 dim club as new wooden_object 
 do 
  club.beat user 
 until user.lesson_learned 
end sub"