Just when you thought it was safe to read e-mail, it is...


              Even More New Virus Warnings.
     
Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer

Bill Clinton virus: Denies ever having interface with that software, 
       virus Lewinski

Ken Starr virus: expends 40 million CPU cycles to find a stale file pointer

Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

Titanic virus: Makes your whole computer go down

Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte

Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care

Sharon Stone virus: Makes a huge initial impact then you forget it's there

Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5" floppy

Tim Allen virus: Appears helpful, but then destroys your hard drive

Woody Allen virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Saddam Hussein virus: Won't let you into any of your programs

Tonya Harding virus: Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons

George Michaels virus: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess
                       data buildup

Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files

X-files virus: All your Icons start shape- shifting

Spice Girl virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored

Dr Kevorkian virus: Searches your disk for old files and deletes them