Mrs. Johnson went to the Mayor's office to plead clemency for
her husband, Fred, who was serving time in jail.  The Mayor
received her graciously.

"Now, Mrs. Johnson, how long will Fred be in jail?" asked the
Mayor.

Mrs. Johnson replied, "Thirty days."

"And what's the charge?"

"No charge," Mrs. Johnson answered, "Everything's free!"

The Mayor said, "No,no,no, I mean, why did he get sent to jail?"

"Oh, he stole a loaf of bread."

"Well, is he a decent father to Fred Jr.?"

"He's the worst.  He drinks, he gambles my paycheck away, and he
uses his fists."

"He uses his fists a lot?"

"Yes.  Fred was fourteen before he realized he had fingers!"

The Mayor was confused.  "Why do you want him back?"

Mrs. Johnson replied, "We're out of bread again!"