Heber and the Pope

Many years ago, the Pope decided that all the Mormons
had to leave Rome. Naturally, there was a big uproar
from the Mormon community. So, the Pope made a deal.

He would have a religious debate with a member of the
Mormon community.  If the Mormon won, the Mormons could
stay.  If the Pope won, the Mormons would leave. Realizing
they had no choice, the Mormons picked a young missionary
from Idaho [probably Pocatello] named Heber, to represent
them.

Not able to speak Italian very well, Heber asked for one
addition to the debate. To make it more interesting,
neither side could talk. The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came.  Heber and the Pope sat
opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised
his hand and showed three fingers.  Heber looked back at him
and raised one finger.  The Pope waved his fingers in a
circle around his head.  Heber pointed to the ground where
he sat.  The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.
Heber pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up! This man is too good!
The Mormons can stay."

Afterwards, the Cardinals, gathered around the Pope, asking
him to explain what had happened.  The Pope said, "First, I
held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.  He responded
by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still
one God common to both our religions.

Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all
around us.  He responded by pointing to the ground to show
that God was also right here with us.  I pulled out the wine
and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins.  He
pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.  He had
an answer for everything.  What could I do?"

Meanwhile the Mormon community and all the missionaries had
crowded around Heber. "What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Heber, "First he said to me that the Mormons had
three days to get out of here.  I told him that not one of us
was leaving.

He told me that his whole city would be cleared of Mormons.  I
let him know we were staying right here."

"And then?" asked a woman.

"I don't know," said Heber, "He took out his lunch and I took
out mine."



Then there's the Catholic vs. Jews version............


Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had
to leave Italy.  There was, of course, a huge outcry from the
Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.  He would have
a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community.  If
the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted
to stay in Italy.  If the Pope won, the Jews would have to
leave.

The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe, to
represent them in the debate.  Rabbi Moishe, however, could
not speak Latin and the Pope could not speak Yiddish.  So it
was decided that this would be a "silent" debate.

On the day of the great debate, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat
opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised
his hand and showed three fingers.  Rabbi Moishe looked back
and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.  Rabbi Moishe
pointed to the ground where he sat.  The Pope then brought out
a communion wafer and chalice of wine.  Rabbi Moishe pulled
out an apple.  With that, the Pope stood up and said, "I
concede the debate.  This man has bested me.  The Jews can
stay."

Later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope, asking him what
had happened.  The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers
to represent the Trinity.  He responded by holding up one
finger to remind me that there was still one God common to
both our religions. 

Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all
around us.  He responded by pointing to the ground to show
that God was also right here with us.  I pulled out the wine
and the wafer to show that God absolves us of our sins.  He
pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.  He had an
answer for everything.  What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community crowded around Rabbi Moishe,
asking what happened.  "Well," said Moishe, "first he said to
me, 'You Jews have three days to get out of here.'  So I said
to him, 'Up yours'.  Then he tells me the whole city would be
cleared of Jews.  So I said to him, 'Listen here Mr. Pope, the
Jews ... we stay right here!"

"And then?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said Rabbi Moishe.  "We broke for lunch."