Imponderable Questions

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
A: He sold his soul to Santa
 
Q: Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A: He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
 
Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.
 
Q: How do you get holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.
 
Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
 
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam".
 
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.
 
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
 
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick.
 
Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
 
Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.
 
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
 
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
 
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A: A pachydermatologist
 
Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a
   tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.
 
Q: What is a zebra?
A: 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
 
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka.

Q: and what kind of lettuce?
A: Iceberg.
 
Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.
 
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: They're trying to get away from the noise.