5759 Year according to Jewish calendar
4696 Year according to Chinese calendar
1063 Total # of years that Jews went without Chinese food
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Q - What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers?
A - "Is ANYTHING all right?"
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Q - Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
A - Under the vacuum cleaner.
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Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take the change a light bulb?
A: (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want to be a
nuisance to anybody.
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Sam Levy was driving down the road, gets pulled over by a policeman.
Walking up to Sam's car, the policeman says, "Your wife fell out the car
5 miles ago" Sam replies, "Thank God...I'd thought I'd gone deaf!"
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History behind every Jewish Holiday: "They tried to kill us, we won,
let's eat."
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Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the
street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days". "Force
yourself", she replied.