Late for School

Boudreau walked into his fort grade class at Taunt Nu's
Academy Des Les Enfants in Breaux Bridge 30 minutes
late one morning.  His teacher, Miss Clotile, fuss at
him when he walk in late and disturb the class. 

She say, "Mais Boudreau, when you late like dis, you
disturb you fellow students here.  I tink you owe
everybody an apology and an explanation why you so late
today."

Well Boudreau, being an otherwise good student, say to
everybody, "Mais, I'm so sorry to disturb you wit me
walking in late like dis, but I got a good reason."

Miss Clotile ask him to explain.

"Well, I'm late cause my daddy sleeps wit no clothes on,"
say little Boudreau.

Taken aback by dis statement, Miss Clotile say, "Now
Boudreau, how in world would de fack dat you daddy sleep
wit no clothes on make you late for school today?!"

Boudreau says, "Miss Clotile, it's like dis.  We been
having dis fox go into our chicken coop jus bout every
night dis week, and my daddy said he done had enough of
dat fox killing and eating our chickens.

He went down to the big ole Wal-Mart store in Lafayette
de udder day and bought him one of dose twice-barrel shotguns.

Well, sure enough, that next night we all heard a big
commotion coming out of the chicken coop at around 3 o'clock
in the morning.  Dat ole fox was back for mo'.

Daddy him, he jump out of bed and run to the kitchen where
he kept his shell for that big ole shotgun and started to
load it up.  I was up too and saw daddy standing there wit
that shotgun buck naked, cause he woke up like dat.  I tell
him to put some clothes on hisself, but he tell me, 'Ain't
got no time for dat!  I'm gonna go blow dat fox's head
clean off!' 

Well, daddy goes outside, and figure he better creep up on
that fox in chicken coop so he don't scare him away.  He
get down on his hands and knees and starts crawlin up the
chicken coop. 

Just about dis time, my ole houn' dog, Cletus, see daddy
crawling up next to dat chicken coop and figure he gonna go
check it out.  He come out from unda da porch, goes up to
daddy jus as he's slipped dem 2 barrels into the door of the
chicken coop, and puts his cold nose right up the crack of
daddy's big naked butt and kapow!

We all been cleaning up dead chickens since 3 o'clock dis
morning Miss Clotile, and dats why I'm late for school!"