A Montana Diary

Aug 12th-  Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here.
The Mountains are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see
them  with a covering of snow. God's country. I love it here.

Oct. 14th- Montana is the most beautiful place on Earth.  The leaves are
turning all different colors.  I love the shades of red and orange.
Went for a ride through some beautiful mountains and spotted some deer.
They are so graceful, certainly they are the most peaceful animals on
earth.  This must be paradise....I love it here.

Nov 11th. - Deer season will start soon.  I can't imagine anyone wanting
to kill such elegant creatures.  The very symbols of peace and
tranquility.  Hope it will snow soon.  I love it here.

Dec 2nd - It snowed last night.  Woke up to find everything blanketed
with white.  It looks like a postcard.  We went outside and cleaned the
snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway.  We had a snowball fight
(I won), and when the snow plow came by we had to shovel the driveway
again.  What a beautiful place.  Mother Nature in perfect harmony.  I
love Montana.

Dec 12th - More snow last night.  I love it.  The snow plow did his
trick again (the little rascal). A winter wonderland....I love it here.

Dec 19th - More snow last night.  Couldn't get out of the driveway to
get to work this time.  I'm exhausted from shoveling.  I need a snow
plow.

Dec 22nd - More of the white crap fell last night.  I've got blisters on
my hands from shoveling.  I think the snow plow hides around the curve
and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway.  Asshole!  They should
use more salt to melt the ice on the roads.

Dec 25th - "White Christmas" my busted ass.  More of the friggin snow.
If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-%%%%% who drives the snow plow,
I swear I'll castrate the dumb bastard.  Don't know why they don't use
more salt to melt the f**king ice.

Dec 26th - Most white sh** last night.  Been inside since Christmas Day
except for shoveling out the drieway after "Snow Plow Harry" comes by
every time.  Can't go anywhere; car's buried in a mountain of white.
The weather man says to expect another 10 inches of this crap tonight.
Do you know how many shovelfuls of snow that is?

Jan 1st - Happy F**king New Year.  The weather man was wrong (again).
We got 31 inches of the white shit this time.  At this rate it won't
melt until the 4th of July.  The snow plow got stuck up the road and the
sh**head driver had the balls to come to the door to borrow my shovel.
I told him that I've broken 6 shovels already from shoveling the sh**
he's pushed into my driveway.  I broke the last one over his f**king
head.

Jan 4th - Finally got out of the house today.  I went to the store to
get food and on the way back a damn deer ran in front of the car and I
hit the bastard.  Did $3000 damage to the car.  Those f**king beasts are
a menace.  Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3rd - Took the car to the garage in town.  Would you believe the
thing is rotting out from all the f**king salt they keep dumping all
over the road?  Car looks like a piece of sh**.

June 1 - Packed up and moved to Arizona.  I can't imagine why anyone in
their friggin right mind would ever want to live in that God-forsaken
state of Montana!!!!!!!!!!!!