WORKPLACE HAZARDOUS MATERIALS
                          INFORMATION BULLETIN
                       Materials Safety Data Sheet
                      CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF : WOMAN

ELEMENT:  Woman
SYMBOL:  WO
DISCOVERER: Adam MAN
ATOMIC MASS:  Accepted as 110 lbs. but known to vary from 80 lbs to
              400 lbs. in the extreme.
OCCURENCE:  Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
  1. Surface usually covered in a painted film.
  2. Boils at nothing and freezes without any known reason.
  3. Melts if given special treatment.
  4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
  5. Found in various states ranging from Virgin metal to Common Ore.
  6. Yields to pressure if applied to correct points.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
  1. Has great affinity to gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
  2. Absorbs great quantitites of expensive substances.
  3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known
     reason.
  4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation
     with alcohol.
  5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:
  1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
  2. Can be a great aide in relaxation.
  3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:
  1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
  2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS/POTENTIAL HAZARDS:
  1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
  2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
     maintained at different locations, as  long as the specimens do not
     come into direct contact with each other.....


WARNING : PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
          PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE!