* If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands ?
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 * Personally, I think today's kids ought to do something really
   special for their Mothers on Mother's Day -- like move out !
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 * Hey guys -- looking for a great gift for your Mother-in-Law on
   Mother's Day ?  Why not send her back her daughter ???
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 * A single Mom was asked by a friend what her son was taking in
   college.  With a sigh she replied, "Everything I have."
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 * Fathers  -- take heart, your day is coming, and you can be sure
   of getting at least one thing -- the bills from Mother's Day.
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 * Most Mothers are always amazed when their sons/daughters marry
   a person with much lower mental capacity, ambition and moral
   standards, yet still manage to have utterly brilliant children.
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 * Mothers come in all shapes and sizes.  For example, an Italian
   Mother might chastise her offspring for not eating by saying,
   "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill you."  A Jewish Mother on the
   other hand would say, "Eat your dinner, or I'll kill myself."
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 * A daughter broke-up with her boyfriend.  She asked her Mother's
   advice about returning the gifts he'd given her.  Without a
   pause, her Mother replied, "Send back the stuffed animals and
   letters, but keep the jewelry for sentimental reasons."