*** Regarding Golf *** In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Golf defined: (1) An expensive way of playing marbles. (2) A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The secret of good golf? Simple: Hit the ball hard, straight, and not too often. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.