The Top 15 Signs You Suffer From "Road Rage" (Part I)  



15> Driver's license exam question: "When passing on right, 
    always _______________."  Your answer: "Shoot to Kill."  

14> State Farm refuses to insure a personal vehicle with gun
    turrets.  

13> Other commuters force you into a rest area and conduct a
    rush-hour intervention.  

12> You've packed enough guns and ammo to make a Tarantino film,
    yet you're just going to the market to buy milk.  

11> You have an open account at Earl Scheib.  

10> Your blood pressure's higher than Ditka's.  

9> Someone cuts you off and the next thing you know, two members
   of your carpool get killed in the crossfire.  

8> You've developed carpal tunnel syndrome in your middle finger.

7> You mounted your wipers on the inside to clear the spittle.

6> Lazy chopper pilot for Fox TV's "Real Crashes" simply waits 
   in vacant lot next to your garage.  

5> A) Teeth marks on steering wheel all the way down to the 5 
   and 7 o'clock positions;  B) You're NOT Christian Slater, 
   Mike Tyson, or Marv Albert.  

4> Left forearm bigger than Popeye's from giving the finger 
   and aiming the Uzi.  

3> In traffic, that throbbing vein in your forehead gets big
   enough to honk the horn on its own.  

2> You can't resist firing off a few practice shots whenever 
    you pass a Target store.  

    and the Number 1 Sign You Suffer From "Road Rage"...  

1> Two words:  Feces slingshot