Southern Lessons

Save all manner of bacon grease.  You will be instructed
later on how to use it.

If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic.  Four men
in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer
and a tow chain will be along shortly.  Don't try to help
them.  Just stay out of their way.  This is what they live
for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the
same store.

People walk slower here.

Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone.  They
don't understand you either.

Be advised:  The "He needed killin" defense is valid here.

If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until
the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn
down.

Most southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore
those who do.  In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car
with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it
was on when the car was purchased.