Then and Now
 
Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.
 
Then: Keg.
Now: EKG.
 
Then: Acid rock.
Now: Acid reflux.
 
Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's warm.
 
Then: You're growing pot.
Now: Your growing pot.
 
Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with
  your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with
  your kids.
 
Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or
  Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or
  Elizabeth Taylor.
 
Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.
 
Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.
 
Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.
 
Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.
 
Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.
 
Then: Hoping for a BMW.
Now: Hoping for a BM.
 
Then: The Grateful Dead.
Now: Dr. Kevorkian.
 
Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.
 
Then: Mood Stones.
Now: Kidney Stones.
 
Then: Being called into the principal's office.
Now: Storming into the principal's office.
 
Then: Screw the system!
Now: System upgrade.
 
Then: Peace Sign.
Now: Mercedes Logo.
 
Then: Getting your head stoned.
Now: Getting your headstone.
 
Then: Parents begging you to get a haircut.
Now: Children begging you to get their head
  shaved.
 
Then: The perfect high.
Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund.
 
Then: Take acid.
Now: Take antacid.
 
Then: Passing the driving test.
Now: Passing the vision test.
 
Then: Whatever!
Now: Depends