Thoughts du jour:

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
isn't looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make when
they go flying by.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through chunky peanut
butter.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

There are two rules for ultimate success in life:  1. Never tell
everything you know.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.