It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the 
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 (police dog) partner, Jake, 
was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. 
"It sure is," I replied. 
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. 
Finally he said, "What'd he get arrested for ?"

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While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly 
shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. 
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, 
particularly the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. 
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I 
braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned 
and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

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A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her 
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." 
"And why not, darling?" 
"You know that you always have you a headache next morning after 
wearing that suit!"

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We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in
town. Early the next morning, our 3 1/2-year old ran into our bedroom to 
wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit 
bothering us. 
About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he 
exclaimed, "everybody here has doorbells....

... and they all work."